Blog Post

Sexual Satisfaction for Women – why pills won’t work

I just read an article about a recommendation for FDA approval for a “female┬áViagra” and boy am I HOT!
(No, not that kind of hot!)

My clients fall into one of three categories:
– those who are desperate to have a quick fix, a band-aid, a geographical cure
or medication to help with their problem
– those who won’t touch medicine with a 30-foot pole
– those who are open to both because they understand the mind, body and
spirit work together (or rather, are NOT working well together) and that some
problems are quite complex without one simple cause and one simple solution

Women and our sexual satisfaction generally fall into the latter category.

pill bottle

“Since the blockbuster launch of Pfizer’s Viagra in 1998, dozens of therapies
have been studied for so-called female sexual dysfunction, an umbrella term
for various problems with libido, arousal and orgasm. But problems with
women’s sexual desire have proven resistant to drugs that act on blood flow,
hormones and other simple biological functions.”**

Ya think??!! And why is that?

In my 20 years of counseling women, those who have been courageous enough to
tackle sexual desire and performance problems generally are able to tie it to
one or more of the following:

-an overall insane level of stress

-the quality of the relationship with their partner

-“chemistry” with their partner

-a history of sexual or spiritual abuse

-a lack of understanding about sexual anatomy and how their bodies work

-beliefs about sex handed down from family, especially their mothers

-body shame, with negative comparisons to cultural and media “norms”

It won’t surprise you to hear that counselors have always been taught that a
woman’s most powerful sex organ is her brain, and that for guys that’s not
the case. An overgeneralization, certainly. But it’s fascinating that the
medication described in this article was originally being looked at as an
antidepressant that had a side effect of slightly increasing sexual desire
and satisfaction. And that it’s been rejected at least twice by the FDA.
(I’ll save my Big Pharma rant for another day.)

When a woman feels emotionally safe, desired by and connected to her partner, can allow herself to be vulnerable and present in her body, knows and loves her own body she stands a chance at consistent sexual pleasure. Which may, or may not include orgasm. Sometimes. If she’s honest.

Will a pill help? Maybe. Some of my clients have benefited from testosterone
cream or other hormone balancing. I’m just reminding you today that female
sexual arousal is complex. Openness, curiosity, education, humor, self-
acceptance, improving relationship quality – these are the keys to what
you’re looking for ladies, and they aren’t sold at the pharmacy.

Wishing you fun, pleasure and satisfaction on the journey!

Comments are encouraged below – let’s talk about this stuff because it’s IMPORTANT!

**FDA backs experimental drug


One Comment

  • Here, Here Keri! I would like to emphasize your point of safe emotional intimacy with my partner – that really allows me to open up to him, and when my love flows, my blood flows!!

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