Self-Acceptance vs Self-Reproach: The Three A’s to Get Back on Track

“There is luxury in self-reproach.” When we blame ourselves we feel no one else has the right to blame us.” – Oscar Wilde I recently had one of those rare, free days, with nothing scheduled and no obligations. I had planned to go for a walk, write in my journal and block time to work on an upcoming workshop on Positive Psychology. But I had the whole day ahead of me and told myself it would be OK. I would work in something fun; maybe even a movie or some shopping. After perusing Facebook, checking email, and paying a couple of bills online, I decided to take myself someplace nice for a (late) breakfast. I was seated next to four rather loud senior patrons and overheard every word of their…
Read More

Coaching vs Psychotherapy: Which one is right for you?

As a Coach, my job is to help individuals take information and skills that they already have and (1) make decisions about which changes they would like to make, (2) develop a personal action plan in order to make those changes, (3) implement the action plan and make behavioral changes, and (4) develop strategies to maintain the changes made. I will support, encourage and help clients stay “on track” toward their goals. Although there are some similarities between coaching and therapy, I will not conduct therapy with my coaching clients. These are different activities and it is important that clients understand the difference. Coaching is a service in which individuals come to me for help in making decisions and implementing them in order to achieve goals that they decide for…
Read More

The Overscheduled Child

What comes to mind when you think about your children and their development into successful people? Where they will go to college? Which career they might choose? Where they will live? Who they will marry? Most parents truly want “the best” for their children. But they have become confused about what that means. From music lessons to gymnastics or football, karate to Boy Scouts and tutoring, families are spending more time in the car going to and from activities than ever before. Several factors contribute to the tendency to overschedule our children. Overall, parents now are better educated than prior generations, and they have far, far more resources available to them. Parents come to this job with no experience, so they parent with the same sort of intensity with which…
Read More

Overcoming Procrastination

Whether it’s a project at work, algebra homework, or filing your tax return, procrastination can cause problems. Consequences can be external, such as a penalty for late taxes, failing a class or losing your job, or they can be internal, such as experiencing guilt or anxiety. Consequences can range from mild to serious. Procrastination impacts our relationships, undermines our credibility, and prevents us from getting some of the joy we want (and deserve!) in our lives. Can you think of a time when you put off something important? Many times the longer we put something off, the worse we feel. Perhaps you have trouble even getting started because you feel overwhelmed by too much to do. So you do nothing. What is procrastination costing you? Awareness of the problem is…
Read More

Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: Improve your understanding When a client is describing a current stressful situation I often ask, “How are you taking care of yourself?” only to be met with a blank stare, or at best, a bewildered look. The most common response when I explain the importance of making self-care a priority has been “that seems selfish.” Selfish is when you pursue your needs and wants without regard for the needs of others on a regular and consistent basis. By now you’ve probably heard the analogy of being on an airplane and “in case of loss of cabin pressure, secure your own mask before assisting others.” It makes sense that we cannot give our best to those we love & care for if we are not taking care of…
Read More