Newsletter: March 2013

Keri’s Corner

Hello, Friends!

I’ve been AWOL from writing but doing more reading & studying the past couple of months instead.  I am learning to accept periods like this as part of the ebb & flow of creativity, motivation, and the kind of “gestation” period needed for reflection and re-centering.  It’s a form of Self-Care….and yet occasionally I get caught up in guilt / fear / shame / negative self-talk that I’m not being “productive” enough.

How do you navigate periods like this in your own life?  What helps and what doesn’t?  I’d love to hear from you & post your comments (with permission) in next month’s newsletter.       

Email me at keri@keririggs.com

Keri Riggs utilizes over 18 years of counseling experi-ence to help clients craft the results they desire. Learn more about Keri or read her blog on her website:  www.KeriRiggs.com

Announcements

Self-Compassion and Good Enough: Building Shame Resilience

Free teleclass on Tuesday, March 19th at 8 PM Central.  Email Kerifor more information and the link to register.

Breaking Free Live!

If you want to break free, you have to break the rules….

March 20 – 23rd

Author of The Millions Within, and Money Mentor David Neagle will be here in Dallas!

For more info clickhere.

I’d love to have you join me for this amazing experience, especially for business owners or those growing a business.

WOW! Weekend for Women from First UMC Richardson

I’m not presenting this weekend, but planning to attend. It promises to be wonderful based on Anne Lamott’s book Help, Thanks, Wow! –  April 5th & 6th.  Details here. 

Your Money Story, Your Money Miracle

COMING IN APRIL

So much of what we’ve learned about money Simply Isn’t True.  In this course you will explore your own money story and how you have been limited by thoughts of scarcity and fear.  Based on David Neagle’s program The Miracle of Money, you can discover how changing your money story can change your income!

The Vulnerability & Perfectionism Connection

I’ve become a fan of author & researcher Brene’ Brown, and want to share with you some amazing nuggets from her most recent book Daring Greatly.

“We must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen.”

Does that statement make you cringe despite the fact a part of you knows this to be Deeply, Deeply True?  It triggers the feeling of vulnerability.  Because if I let myself be seen, you may reject me or judge me as not good enough and I may embarrass myself (shame).

According to Brown, perfectionism ISN’T:

• the same as striving for excellence

We believe if we do things perfectly and look perfect that we can minimize the pain of blame, judgment and shame.

• self-improvement

Trying to earn approval – praise for achievement, performance, grades, appearance or following the rules.

• the key to success

Fear of failure, criticism, or making mistakes prevents us from being successful and is correlated with anxiety/depression, addiction and an “unlived life.”

• a way to avoid shame

Perfectionism is a form of shame.

Perfectionism IS:

• a self-destructive and addictive belief system that makes us think we can avoid shame, judgment or blame
• an unattainable goal, more about perception than accomplishment
• sets us up to feel shame and self-blame because “I’m not good enough”

Brown shares strategies for building “shame resilience” as well as research on differences in how men and women experience shame. Her book includes ways to improve leadership in the workplace and in parenting – see the Parenting Manifesto below.

In over 18 years of counseling AND in my own journey as a “recovering perfectionist” / self-improvement junkie, I have NEVER found a concept as useful as Brown’s research on shame and vulnerability.  Since I can’t summarize everything here, I recommend the book AND am offering a free teleclass on shame resilience based on the book.  This powerful work is an incredible gift to give to yourself and those you love.

Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto 

(by Brene’ Brown)

Lots of Moms / parents are on my email list and I love this and am so grateful to share our parenting journeys!

Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable.

    You will learn this from my words and actions – the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself.

    I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness.

    You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections.

    We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honoring vulnerability. We will share our stories of struggle and strength.  There will always be room in our home for both.

    We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other.  We will set and respect boundaries; we will honor hard work, hope, and perseverance. Rest and play will be family values, as well as family practices.

    You will learn accountability and respect by watching me make mistakes and make amends, and by watching how I ask for what I need and talk about how I feel.

    I want you to know joy; so together we will practice gratitude.

    I want you to feel joy, so together we will learn how to be vulnerable.

    When uncertainty and scarcity visit, you will be able to draw from the spirit that is a part of our everyday life.

    Together we will cry and face fear and grief.  I will want to take away your pain, but instead i will sit with you and teach you how to feel it.

    We will laugh and sing and dance and create.  We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other. No matter what, you will always belong here.

    As you begin your Wholehearted journey, the greatest gift that I can give to you is to live and love with my whole heart and to dare greatly.

    I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the figt of seeing you. Truly, deeply, seeing you.

Download a printable copy from Brown’s website –  here